you know, it may be because i have a ton of summer homework, but i am really beginning to feel resentment towards the american educational system.

i mean, it seems like i have been learning the same things in history over and over again for the past 7 years or so. and i learn math i will never use. and the only writing i have been doing recently is literary analysis - which i suppose is a good thing to be able to do, but... there are other kinds of writing out there. why can't i be learning things i'm really interested in?

really. i would enjoy school if i could just learn things i felt were more relevant to my future. or simply my interests. i would bury myself in books about environmentalism, politics, art, german, modern literature, social change... so many things! but no - instead, i find myself not being able to dig into these things because i have to work on school assignments. my education is preventing my education. (isn't there a quote about that somewhere? by wilde or twain or somebody?)

in fact, i was thinking the other day - the structure of society is very limiting in itself. our lives are planned out and dictated by school, work, etc. - i essentially have to take four years of high school. four years of college. maybe two years of graduate school to get a master's degree. then i will get a job and pay off debts until the day i die.

i suppose it's all really because of money... in theory, i could quit high school now and never go to college and work some crap job for the rest of my life. maybe marry and have kids and live in a small house in a 'bad neighborhood' and struggle to pay the mortgage and buy school supplies. eat macaroni and cheese three times a week and buy all of the family's clothes at wal-mart and never have the time or energy to read another book. spend my evenings watching sitcoms and the local news, trying to forget about the bills from the dentist and pediatrician and insurance company. and end up wishing i had followed society's plan after all...

but why does it have to be like that? why can't a person have the freedom to make a decent living without spending thousands of dollars on an education? why can't a person marry young and have children young and still have the chance at a pleasant future? why are there so many restrictions?

(those are more just rhetorical questions than anything else, by the way. i realize there are logical explanations and reasons for all of this. and that it depends on a huge complicated web of factors and traditions and numbers, etc. but i can't help but be frustrated and ask...)

hmmm.

[wow. i just read that, and i don't think it makes any sense. but i'll post it anyway :)]